Every now and then, I like to take a trip down memory lane and reread old journal entries. This particular one caught my eye recently… it is from a stay in Austin for one of my teacher training workshops back in 2018.
Continue reading to learn how 4 1/2 years ago, I turned a not so good moment into a self-teaching opportunity. In the seasonal spirit, one might even say it was a practice of “trick or treat”. [TRIGGER WARNING: I cuss once and talk about vomit in this entry. Also, it is a journal entry, to myself…so, it may not make the most sense. Read on, if you dare…]
4/7/18 A new day to assist growth…
This morning on my drive to the studio, I was on 6th street and it seemed so barren and neglected after what was surely a rowdy Friday night in Austin, TX. As I sat at street lights, I found myself looking for and thinking about all the puke piles that must be around (though I didn’t see any when I was driving). I finally parked my car, paid my fee, and immediately upon stepping out of the lot and onto the sidewalk–not more than 3 feet in– do I *SQUISH* my shoe into…something? Well, it looks like I found the puke pile I had been searching for! I’m not f*$#ng kidding. I wish I was. The lucky part is that it ONLY got on my shoe bottom, which I was able to scrape off, and continue on mostly without missing a beat.
Anyway, it got me thinkin on my way to class, looking to use this as a teaching moment to myself so as not to go in a down spiral of disgust…So I tough lovingly say HEY, silly– you asked for this! Like exactly this. Just moments ago, was literally asking where the puke was. LOL. If I think of it this way, it just cracks me up. What did I expect? Does it surprise me that I found what I was seeking? No. And it will continue in this way, of course, hopefully in a more positive light and magnetism…
Anyway, how do we train ourselves to look for the “right stuff”? If we ultimately find what we seek… What am I seeking? And how can I more readily present myself in time and space to 1)remember that I’m playing a game at all (hide & seek), 2)Be open to being FOUND, and 3)Keep searching? Asking? Seeking? Seeking feels like such a better word. To see… to wonder enough, to be curious about thinking there was a thing to see at all…that is to seek. But what am I seeking? To open, and be opened, and open others…
Which leads me to wonder…what is the root of open? “It’s from Germanic origin, rooted to Dutch open and German offen. From the root of the adverb UP.” That does sound about right. Lift it up and feel the shift of openness. Ahhh. (Thank you, Google). So be careful to articulate what we’re seeking. It might just come up and find us.
Now I seek Thai food, a shower, and a restful evening.